DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am very much against Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, and I don’t want to support it by buying a diamond engagement ring, since the stone is likely to come from Russia.
I told my fiancee I would like to buy her a ruby, emerald or sapphire ring — her choice — but she says the only ring appropriate for an engagement is a diamond. What is your advice?
GENTLE READER: This is not the jewelry department, so Miss Manners cannot advise you on how to find a diamond with a clear provenance (or a lab-created one). But that is what you must do.
The reason is not because there is any etiquette rule about diamond rings. Frankly, we don’t even care if there is a ring, much less what type. Etiquette considers that all an engagement requires is an agreement between two people to be married. It is not we who invented that bended-knee routine.
But your fiancee craves this. And your marriage will go better if you acknowledge that while a spouse’s moral convictions should be respected, so should a spouse’s emotional longings.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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